How to Have a Glow Up

There’s something sickeningly warm about misery. It gets comfortable easily. However, I won’t allow you to make that who you are. Take this tragedy that you’re feeling, and use it to transform into the super version of yourself. That’s the way to come out of this as a hero. Self-pity is unattractive. 

Exercise

I’m putting this first because not only does it have dual advantage, it sets the momentum to all the points I mention following.

Yes, it’s a cliche, but why is this so important? 

Movement gets all the good hormones going. Movement forces a pause from your ruminating thoughts. Movement gets your blood flow in order, tones up all the muscles that have been begging to be used. 

I advise to start off small. If a 30-minute run is too daunting, start with a 10-minute walk. Some days will be harder than others. On those days, I do a five minute, light workout. 

The best kind of exercise? It’s the one you like. I am lucky that I live close to Mont Royal. I invested in some sexy gym clothes, which lifts up my mood even before I start working out. I put on my playlist, and while I’m running uphill, and the song is climaxing, I feel like I’m a protagonist in a movie. On my way back down, I pause and stand in a superhero pose towards the view. I admire my kingdom. 

I also follow MadFit. Her videos work for me because she offers alternatives for some of the harder moves, and I can choose depending on if I’m feeling more jumpy that day or if I just want to take it easy. 

The trick is to not keep stopping. Even a one-minute plank counts. 

Even if you’re doing this for a revenge body, try to use this opportunity to feel good in addition to looking good. And the rest will come more easily. 

Style

Glow-ups are often associated with upgraded appearances. I feel that’s such a limited take, but since we’re on the topic of exercise, style goes hand-in-hand. Whether this means getting rid of wardrobe items that no longer serve you, or trying on a new shade of lipstick, it’s a very fun way to get to know yourself. You don’t need to break the bank for fun, stylish clothes. My most beloved items are from thrift shops, or even just matching old clothes in a new way, playing with accessories. If you’re exercising like I said in the previous point, your skin already looks healthier. What kind of shampoo are you using? Could you do with a new haircut? 

Another thing to note is enjoying the process of getting dressed up. If your social life is on the quiet side, curate one. I’ll go into more detail later in this blogpost. My brother would say, “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else?” Maybe that works for him, but for me, it’s to fall in love with myself. I flirt back with the beautiful girl I see in the mirror. 

Beautify Your Surroundings

Okay, we talked about making you pretty, but what about your home?

Mornings used to hurt the most. If I slept at all, I’d wake up wishing I didn’t. I took matters into my hand and curated my routine so that I could look forward to it. I’d have a podcast or YouTube video lined up from the evening before, as well as the coffee in the machine. When I’d get up, all it would take is a press of a button. By the time I was out of the toilet, my coffee was ready, I’d take it to my room and sip on it while listening to my podcast and getting dressed. 

I also nailed nails into the wall to hang up my earrings, got a red couch, some photography, some black spray on part of my wall to use as a chalkboard. I rearranged my bed so it’s facing away from the window, and that helped with sleep. Again, no need to go bankrupt over this. Gather your friends for a painting party and put the results up on the wall. Or the reverse - go minimalist. Get rid of shit. Feel the expansion. Candles, music, a bowl of pomegranate in the corner. Let your inner and outer aesthetics align. 

Hobbies & Skills

Oooh, I’m so excited writing this. We’re getting to the fun part! Now that you’re taking care of your body and your house, we’re going to start taking care of your mind. Amidst this heartbreak, now’s the time to revisit your old passions and get to know new ones. Make a list of all the things you want to learn and accomplish by this time next year or next month. Whether that’s learning Japanese or mastering two new songs on the violin, a new skill adds inner richness which will reflect on your outward appearance. This is meant to be pressure-free, so keep the list short if need be. Or make the whole thing and pick out two or three you want to do. This can be rock-climbing, dedicating your evenings to a jigsaw puzzle. I took some astronomy workshops, because thinking of where we are in the universe reminds me that there are bigger things out there. I feel the same when I’m floating in an ocean. This calm sense of molecular harmony. I took up piano which I’d abandoned, taught myself tarot, shared my writing on social media. Little things. 

Social Life

Whether you tie this in with the point mentioned above, or you do it as its own thing, expanding your circle is refreshing and inspiring. It also gives you a chance to clean yourself up good and add a bit of glam into your life. Your interpersonal relationships can be part of your glow up. New friends are inspiring, and new connections can lead you to career opportunities you never considered before.

Plus, you get to be your sexy, smart self in a whole new environment, to a whole new audience!

I’ve found FB groups helpful, but you can join improv, take a new class, a soccer league, language meetups, or keep an eye out for monthly events around the city. New people are also less likely to ask about your breakup, which means you won’t have to go over it again. 

Career

Heartbreaks suck, okay? Their ache is unmatched. 

But they are also inspiring. Redirect all that hurt energy into getting that raise or promotion. Or a sexy new portfolio, or landing that shiny new job. The new-found confidence will glow you up. Even if those things dont’ see through, just knowing you tried your best will give you trust in yourself. 

Spirituality and Therapy

Okay, this one’s going to be a bit controversial. 

I was reading through a reddit of how a breakup with a narcissist changed some survivors, and one of them said they started to believe in magic again. Of all the comments, I remember this one because I’d been experiencing the same. I almost wept. 

I personally found a lot of comfort in ego loss. Surprisingly, ego is inversely proportional to self-esteem. There’s something calming about a beautiful deck of cards, or a gentle message, or learning about yourself through the cosmos. It also reminds you that you are in charge of your destiny. That the energy that you came into with this world is not the energy you’re necessarily meant to leave with. That you have the choice to polish your strengths, to master your weaknesses (which also adds to that sense of power, which will be apparent in the glowup). I personally love tarot as part of my morning routine. It’s important to remember that these messages are not set in stone, they’re meant to help you anticipate what may be to come so you can navigate your day accordingly. Let’s take spirituality out of this, for a second. Yesterday, I was feeling pretty morose. I felt like everything was a lie and good things are not yet to come. And then I checked the date and realized my period is due in five days. What a relief! Just knowing the are forces bigger than me put me at ease, and reassured me that my feelings are temporary. Funnily enough, I was cheered up after that.

Anyway, feeling like a part of a collective will help make you more zen, and it will also help you feel more positive.

This ties into:

Optimism

Optimistic people are magnetic. I’m not asking you not to acknowledge the bad. I’m asking you not to dwell on them. Whatever you focus on is what grows. And with time, you’ll notice more and more goods start to happen. Remember, however, that it can take time. Start with small things. It’s a muscle just like any other, and it strengthens the more you use it. Like playing the guitar, or learning a language. A little bit every day, and you’ll notice the difference three months later. 

Let’s use this example. I was at a boat party and I met this girl. Super fun, friendly, warm, hilarious. I really liked her and could potentially learn a lot from her. She had sass and liked to dance. However, on the boat, she slipped a few times, and was embarrassed. She kept bringing it up, “Oh my god, I can’t believe I fell in front of everyone, I can’t believe I fell more than everybody.” 

And you know what happened? That’s how people ended up remembering her. As the girl who slipped a bunch. Sure, that did happen, but there’s so much more to her! 

Be careful not to linger too long in bitterness, because that’s what you’ll grow into. When I was 25, I had a boyfriend who was 12 years older than me. A proud starving artist, he scoffed at the world and how ridiculous and unfair it was. His world view might have rubbed off on me. It was a rough two years. Money, immigration issues, death, housing, uncooperative applehomes. I remember thinking, “Sigh. I could really use some good news.” 

Then we broke up, and voila! The air was lighter, the world had more colour in it, people were kind and helpful, paying the bills was smoother. I told myself I won’t grow up to be like him. It’s easy to be angry. Happiness is the true power. 

Try to remember some days are more difficult than others. Don’t let it discourage you. Just pick yourself back up and keep moving. Enjoy the journey!